![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
11 days until Japan.
I should be more excited. Right now I just feel nervous and stressed. lol
But on that same note, I'm just more than ready to get out of here. It was snowing again this morning. It's been -20 to -30 celcius for days. I'll be honest; I am so fucking tired of it--language representative.
I'm tired of being this. I'm tired of being fat, of being unhealthy, of doing nothing with my life. I'm tired of having struggled and struggled for years with nothing to show for it and having done nothing (besides living in Vancouver) that made me any level of happy. I'm just really, really ready to leave and be done and start again. That's really how I feel. Frustrated.
I'm also scared because there's so little time yet and I have so much left to do still. I feel like I really shouldn't be working five days a week right now just to allow for time to get stuff done, but I am. I'm working up until like two days before I leave. :/ I did this partially because (okay, entirely because) I knew my parents would be angry if I took an entire week and two days off before leaving. Because I "need to be working"; a phrase they tell me pretty well constantly. I know. I know.
I am not feeling well. I'm sniffly and my stomach hurts and I threw up this morning; my periods have been hitting me really, really hard these days. I don't even care if that's TMI. You can deal with it today.
I should be more excited. Right now I just feel nervous and stressed. lol
But on that same note, I'm just more than ready to get out of here. It was snowing again this morning. It's been -20 to -30 celcius for days. I'll be honest; I am so fucking tired of it--language representative.
I'm tired of being this. I'm tired of being fat, of being unhealthy, of doing nothing with my life. I'm tired of having struggled and struggled for years with nothing to show for it and having done nothing (besides living in Vancouver) that made me any level of happy. I'm just really, really ready to leave and be done and start again. That's really how I feel. Frustrated.
I'm also scared because there's so little time yet and I have so much left to do still. I feel like I really shouldn't be working five days a week right now just to allow for time to get stuff done, but I am. I'm working up until like two days before I leave. :/ I did this partially because (okay, entirely because) I knew my parents would be angry if I took an entire week and two days off before leaving. Because I "need to be working"; a phrase they tell me pretty well constantly. I know. I know.
I am not feeling well. I'm sniffly and my stomach hurts and I threw up this morning; my periods have been hitting me really, really hard these days. I don't even care if that's TMI. You can deal with it today.